How can I avoid wasting time on incompatible matches?

Be clear about your must-haves, such as values, children and location, and say them early. Ask direct questions and watch for answers. Do not ignore a mismatch hoping it will change.

Limit the number of conversations to those you can give attention to. Quality beats quantity.

Infatuation feels urgent and focuses on how someone makes you feel. Love shows up in how you act when things are ordinary or hard: caring about their wellbeing, accepting their flaws and wanting a shared future. Give it a few months and watch how you both handle stress.