My girlfriend texts her ex "good night" every single night. I want her to stop. Am I being controlling?
We have been together two years. A few months ago I saw a notification on her phone: "Good night" from her ex. She told me they dated for four years, ended on good terms, and that it is just a habit from when they lived together.
She offered to show me the chat, so I looked. It is harmless. No flirting, no old memories, just those two words and a reply. But it is every night, and she never once mentioned it to me.
I told her it bothers me. She said I am being controlling, and that she trusts me with my friends, so I should trust her. I do not want to be the guy who decides who his girlfriend can talk to. But I cannot shake the feeling that someone else gets the last word of her day.
No opinions yet. Be the first.
Rate it and share
What do you think?
No ratings yetTotally wrongTotally right
Sign in to rate and earn credits.
See how everyone voted
🔬 The analysis
No ratings yet. Be the first to rate it.
See the numbers and the psychology
🧠 Psychology lens
A harmless nightly message from a partner's ex feels like a threat to one partner, while the other feels accused.
May feel the last word of her day belongs to someone else.
She may feel her trust is being questioned over an innocent habit.
Psychology ideas that may apply
Our earliest close bonds shape how we seek closeness, space and reassurance as adults.
Here: Some people feel more secure when the relationship is the clear first priority in small daily routines.
When someone's intention is unclear, we may assume they meant to hurt us.
Here: A friendly habit can be read as meaning more than it does.
💡 Asking for what you need, such as hearing about it first, tends to work better than asking her to stop.
Written by AI from one person's account, using well-known psychology ideas for reflection. It is not a diagnosis or advice, and it can be wrong.
Rate the story to unlock a chat with people who gave the same score.