How do we divide household chores fairly?

List all tasks, including invisible ones like planning and remembering, then split them by time, preference and ability instead of by habit. Review every few months. Fair does not always mean equal hours, but both people should feel the split is respectful.

Write down every task for a week, including invisible ones like planning meals and paying bills. Give each person a fair share by time, not by habit, and swap a few tasks monthly. Check in every few weeks so nobody quietly takes on more than they agreed.